So We Meet Again

I have had a nearly lifelong enemy. Like most nemeses, his company is never desired or asked for, just endured. He always comes around to ruin the good times and shatter my hopefulness. He drains me. He makes me question what I believe. And I’ll go ahead and say it, I hate him.

Perhaps you know him. I call him disappointment.

Disappointment and I have had an up and down relationship and until recently it has been mostly down. When I first began attending college, along with all my dorm-room essentials (which included a coffee-maker and Chinese lantern lights I could never figure out how to display), I packed up and brought with me expectations I made over the course of high school for my college years when I’d be a grown-up and life would really happen.

To skip over a lot of irrelevant details, I’ll just tell you those expectations did not come true, not a one of them. And I grew disappointed without realizing it, which led to anger, which led to rebellion and a repeated theme over the course of a year that Lauren’s way is not better than God’s way.

It took me until about 2 years ago to label Disappointment, to see him on his way, to catch him lurking around when I am hopeful that things are going to go the way I think they will. Today I’m learning (trying to learn) what the appropriate response to disappointment is and what I’ve come up with, and it’s working so far, is to stand on the promises of God. I first acknowledge His ways are not my ways so more than likely if I am wanting God’s will to be done, I need to get used to events unfolding in ways that go against my expectations (Isaiah 55:8). Second, do I believe He loves me and that His love means anything that brings pain is not to harm me, but for my good (Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28)? And these are verses I think most of us have heard repeatedly, but the truth of the matter is when disappointment comes I either act like I’ve never heard it or that it’s not true. I act like disappointment is the end of the story, all hope is lost, woe is me, etc.

I pray today we would believe God’s love for us that surpasses understanding and that we would walk in that belief that nothing may rob us of the joy that comes in knowing that a Holy and Perfect God holds nothing back, not even His precious Son, to lavish us with His rich, inclusive, and unending love (Romans 8:32).

“For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.” 2 Corinthians 1:20